I had a bit of difficult week. I think my worse breakdowns are when many small issues or problems begin to pile up, and soon enough an incredibly daunting mountain of tasks and obstacles loom over me and it seems impossible to do even the simplest of things. Between family issues, internal conflicts, and school I felt terrible. I thought it might've been a mistake trying to return to school full force with a full schedule of 15 credits. I wasted two whole days wallowing in my distraught of the threat that I would waste more opportunities and fall further behind, but there's nothing more frustrating to me than feeling like I can't do anything.
I don't know how anyone else attributes their success or motivation, but I personally point towards the content I was exposed to as a child and until even now. I might've mentioned before that I am not close with my family, so my "heroes" were never my parents or siblings. I honestly attribute a lot of my personality to cartoons/anime, video games, comics, and the such. I recognize how unrealistic it can might present or how uncanny it'll to reveal that some of my biggest inspirations are fictional, but I can't lie that seeing the hero/underdog rise to the occasion and defeat their rival/nemesis inspires me. Often I'll imagine my short-comings or flaws as inner demons or frightening opponents and I'll create a feeling where I want to surge forward and realize my own success through focus, commitment, and sheer willpower. It was through this that I manage to rise above my wallowing and tear through what was bringing me down. I completed all my school assignments, I ignored my self-esteem issues, and avoided my toxic family. I feel on top of the world and I am ready to keep going until I fall, but I'm not worried because I know I'll always get back up.
Wonderful to hear that you were able to rise above your wallowing and tear through what was bringing you down ^_^
ReplyDeleteEven the fictional characters and situations are likely based on real people's experiences. It does not matter the source of inspiration, what matters is you were inspired!
I loved the closing: "...I am ready to keep going until I fall, but I'm not worried because I know I'll always get back up."
Keep that spirit up and you will succeed in IS101-3010, Spring 2022 and everything else in your life :-)
We all have mental breakdowns its ok just continue to fight on and you will be good
ReplyDeleteI feel it. Oh my god. Everyday I feel like I'm about to have a breakdown as well, but then, I just ignore all my problems and leave them for future Kelsey to deal with. Then, when future Kelsey gets here, I blame past Kelsey for all my problems. That really helps if you think of it like that.
ReplyDeleteThis is extremely relatable, especially where you mention the piling up of issues/tasks, and how it just destroys your ability to get even simple items taken care of.
ReplyDeleteI've got a tendency that I have to control basically all the time, because I get overwhelmed by too much information, or too many...whatever, and I start to shut down. Then it just turns defeatist, as you look at the mountain of issues, growing in stature daily, that you should be dealing with, but aren't. It becomes almost insurmountable.
I have to work really hard to control that, and it takes constant vigilance. It's a part of my nature, and there's only so much I can really do, but...it just creates an enormous amount of tension in a society that literally feeds off of overdrive and overwhelm at all times.
It's a constant battle.
I know the feeling. We got this though, nothing worth it is ever easy.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has their own battles both internally and externally. What is important is to practice good resiliency.
ReplyDeleteMental breakdowns happens to the best of us. And honestly, it's okay to feel that way from time to time, no need to beat yourself up about it. It's okay to wallow and cry for a bit but the important part is that after you had your moment, to pick yourself back up and remember what it is your striving for in the first place.
ReplyDeleteMental breakdowns takes a toll on everyone. Keep your head up and push through. If need to take a mental day for yourself. It is what I do when I feel overwhelm. I take a day to myself and do what makes me happy. Once you take that day for yourself you will feel recharge and ready to continue.
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean! That's why I like to reserve the days I am off to focus on myself and do things that make me happy, if that means I do nothing and stay in my bed all day or play some video games.
ReplyDeleteWe all have those days. Whenever I am overwhelmed, I find someone to vent to, not just anyone but someone who will listen and not make it about themself or judge me. sometimes That's all you need to do is to let it all out, it is not good to keep it in, then you will know that you are not alone and other people are going through the same or worse.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you were able to get through it, stay strong.
Fifteen credits! That is quite challenging, but I like your determination and your willingness to keep on trying. I wish you all the best. You can do it.
ReplyDeleteThe second week of the semester was pretty hard for me as well. I suffer from extreme anxiety and that was a reason I put school on the back burner at one point. It gets hard sometimes but you seem to have a strong determination to do well, I know you can do it.
ReplyDeleteHello Vincent I don't think there is anything wrong with being inspired by fictional characters. There is a phrase "don't meet your hero's" The reality is people are human and have flaws that's why a lot of hero's don't live up to our expectations. In fiction we can have people that represent Ideals of what we could be rather than what we are.
ReplyDeleteHey Vincent, I know the feeling and right there with you. I have an uncle going through a divorce and being the only one familiar with court paperwork and able to translate; I've been helping him with this part of his life and also dealing with work stress and personal conflicts I can imagine what you are going through. Be strong and take moments to reflect and take care of you! You are only one person and can only do so much before you break. Better days are coming I'm sure !
ReplyDeleteI was not close with my family at all up until a few years ago so I can definitely relate to having "heroes" outside your family.
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